One is the Loneliest Number

…and then there was that one time we played my favorite game in the world all night long. You always were so thoughtful of my needs.

I miss you so much. Why did you have to go? Why now? I sit here, all alone, myself and the world. The two of us, we were lonely together.

There are others, but they just won’t do. They don’t fill the void you left. No one can; no one will.

There was that one time that you came back, and you were crying. You were so sad, I could feel it. You said someone had left you. I knew that your inside was hurting bad. I came over and hugged you, consoled you. You felt better. You told me it would just be us from then on out, no one else. Us as one. You played your favorite song over and over that night. I’ll never forget it.

But I know you won’t be back. Not this time. I keep staring out the window, hoping for your car to come in the driveway. I know none of these cars are yours though. I know the sound your car makes from a mile away. I can feel your presence. And you aren’t here anymore.

I’ll never forget the time we shared our most intimate secrets with each other. I never told anyone those things, but I knew I could tell you. You wouldn’t betray me, you wouldn’t hurt me. Even when you did yell at me or told me no, I knew you were mad at something else. I forgave you. I forgive you.

Yet here I lay, torn to shambles. I haven’t moved an inch since you left. Not to go to the bathroom, not to eat, not even to get a drink of water. What if you were to go by the house, calling out for me to join you, and I missed you? I cannot risk it.

The others seem to have been able to get over your death quicker than me. They keep telling me to just forget about you, that I should take my wallowing someplace else. But…

Oh no I said it. Oh dear lord I said the bad word—Death. There it is. There…it…is. I know you are gone, dead. I know it, but I can’t bring myself to truly believe it. I know I will have to though, eventually. We must all move on in life.

I just threw up. I can’t help it. My stomach was hungry but my brain was fixed on your death, and they don’t mix. I think I’ll just go and remember your favorite song and…

Wait, that sound. Is that…yes! It’s you! You’re here! You’re…no, that’s someone else. But I can feel your presence…

It is you! Oh my god it’s you by george it’s you! You were riding with a stranger! I knew I felt you! I don’t know how it’s possible, but it’s you! I was so sure you had died…

“Hey Petey boy. You missed me huh? Woah, down, down! Ok, go get your ball, we’ll go outside and play catch for a bit.”

 

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